Why A Beer Is Better Than A Man
Beer really IS God's gift to women.
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to cook for a beer
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the mall.
When beer goes flat you toss it out.
Beer is never late.
HANGOVERS go away.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never is too tired.
After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
You can have more than one beer a night.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You can have a beer in public.
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
Beer doesn't look you up in a month an talk about their new girl.
Beer doesn't have a mother.
Beer always listens and never argues.
Beer doesn't grunt, it bubbles.
Beer is never overweight.
Beer doesn't insist on always being right.
If you change beers, you don't have to buy a gun for protection
Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
Beer doesn't need much closet space.
Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
Beer never asks you to change the station.
Beer is always easy to pick up.
Big, fat beers are nice to have.
Beer doesn't pout or play games.
Beer doesn't live with its mother.
Beer doesn't blow you off.
Beer has culture.
Beer doesn't bitch or yell.
A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of woman bashing rap music on your favorite radio station.
A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are great comedy.
A beer won't think it "deserves" to date Elle Macpherson or Cindy Crawford
A beer won't leave the toilet seat up.
A beer won't whine that seatbelts are for sissies.
A beer won't smoke in your car.
A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky..
A beer is always ready to leave on time.
Beer tastes *good*.
When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill.
A beer will not complain about taking you to see a "chick flick"
A beer will not complain about you having a night out with the girls (to see said chick flick without him).
Beer is consistent.
Beer will never complain about other women they have dated.
Beer will never expect you to do its laundry.
Beer does not mess up a bathroom.
Beer will stay where you put it.
A beer always satisfies you.
A beer bottle is always hard.
Beer will never embarass you in front of your friends.
You can take beer anywhere.