This test is intended for males to test their sensitivity
In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood test results
c) Five tequila slammers
You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don’t miss the 49’er game
Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month.
You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) Not a problem, she can join your gym
c) A conservative estimate
You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
a) A myth
b) An oxymoron
c) A moron
Foreplay is to sex as:
a) Appetizer is to entree
b) Primer is to paint
c) A line is to an amusement park ride
Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a) ""I hope we can still be friends.""
b) ""I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.""
c) ""Welcome to Dumpsville; population, YOU.""
A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) Is uptight and a waste of time
c) Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
Evaluating the results:
If you answered ""a"" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you have a dick.
If you answered ""b"" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re a little confused.
If you answered ""c"" more than 7 times, ""You DA MAN!""