Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex
You can GET chocolate.
"If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning
with chocolate.
Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being
called nasty names.
The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
You can have chocolate on top of you workbench/desk during
working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face
slapped.
You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
Good chocolate is easy to find.
You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
With chocolate size doesn't matter; its always good!
You can fondle chocolates in a supermarket.
...and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
Chocolates can get away any weekend.
With a chocolate you can get a single room.
...and you won't have to check in as "MRS. Chocolate".
A chocolate will always respect you in the morning.
You can go to the movie with a chocolate ... and see the movie.
You can have as many chocolates as you can handle.
Chocolates stay hard for a week.
You only eat chocolates when you feel like it.
Chocolates won't write your name and number on the men's room
wall.
Chocolates won't ask: Am I the best? How was it?
Chocolates won't ask about your last chocolate...
...or speculate about your next one.
A chocolate will never make a scene because there are other
chocolates in the refrigerator.
A chocolate won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your
mother comes.
No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh chocolate.
Chocolates can handle rejection.
Chocolates can stay up all night...
...and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot